Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
