I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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