that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
