I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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