We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
