TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
