Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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