If that was your dad, he is hot
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
