Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
