btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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