remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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