South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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