i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
