This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
