Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
