Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
