I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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