Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize