so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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