ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
