3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize