I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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