Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
