Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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