hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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