i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
