everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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