OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
