i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize
