Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
