We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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