i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
