you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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