I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
