Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
