Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
