I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
