Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
