with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize