All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
