Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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