When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
