yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
