I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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