i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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