I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
