So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
