just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
that may or may not have been my penis.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
