i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
