Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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