This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I have already put on my inside pants.
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