The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
