Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
