That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
either way he was missing a nipple.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
