Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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