he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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