Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize