Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
