I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
