I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
