i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
