I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
