I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
