Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
