Screwed.edu
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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